COLUMNISTS' CORNER

women’s conference, where she shared her story of living years in a Cambodian communist concentration camp. Julie’s father was a well-educated city official until one day he, his wife and eight children were separated and almost killed by Pol Pot’s murderous communist regime. At the age of 15 years old, Julie was taken from her beautiful home where she had had servants and expensive clothes, beautiful healthy food and an education, and was forced to live for four years separated from her family in a concentration camp. Julie worked in the fields, and she was only given one tablespoon of dirty cooked rice once a day. Her health was so bad, her hair fell completely out and her muscles became so weak she could not walk. She was then taken to a concentration hospital where they left her to die, like the others lying on the filthy floor next to her.

   As Julie laid there, she dreamed of a warm meal, and to see her family again and to live free. But she was so weak, that she could not walk or lift her arms. Julie’s dreams seemed impossible due to the current situation but one day she realized the birds in the fields were eating berries of some kind on the bushes, so if the birds could eat them so could she. It took her almost an entire day to crawl about 20 feet to collect berries, but she was determined and she did it. Julie continued to eat the berries until she was strong enough to walk. This poor excuse of a hospital was where they left people to die, so they had very little security. One day Julie decided to try and escape. She managed to not only escape but somehow she even managed, after weeks of searching, to find her father and mother in another concentration camp.

   Unfortunately if the guards saw her, they would have killed her and her mother and father, so they kept Julie hidden for months in a tiny room where she wasn’t allowed to move or speak. Her mother would hide half of her daily rice crumbs and later sneak them to Julie. Eventually the Vietnamese communists took over and they were better to the people and Julie’s other family members were able to also find their father and mother. Julie, however, became determined to live in freedom and convinced a few of her siblings to escape to Thailand, where she learned to smuggle food and make money. Eventually she paid a friend to kidnap her mother and father and her other siblings and bring them to her in Thailand. Julie continued to dream and stayed determined no matter the circumstances. Soon the United Nations helped Julie and her family to get the United States, sponsoring them out of Thailand to America.

   It was difficult for Julie and her family because they did not read or speak any English or even drive a car, etc. And besides all of that, Julie came from a culture where it was disrespectful to look someone in the eyes, so she had to learn to communicate not just verbally, but emotionally as well. But again, Julie was determined. Now Julie has a degree, she is a published author, professional speaker and successful entrepreneur. Julie said, “Cambodia is the country where I was born and America is the country I was re-born.”

   Wow - Julie is truly unstoppable and I find her story so empowering that I know I too am unstoppable as well. I encourage everyone to surround yourself with people who believe in themselves, who inspire you and encourage you. Make it a point this year to stop wasting precious time with people that suck the life out of you and most of all stay determined to live your dreams because you too are UNSTOPPABLE!!!

Peace and blessings,
Sharmyn
Patient advocate, published author, professional speaker.

Jim Shelton: A Patient’s Perspective

   Fall 2002... Where to now?

Editor’s note: Mr. Shelton’s column is told in serial form, with each column forming another chapter in his fight against pituitary disease and his inspirational journey back to health.

    It was August 2002 and for the first time in many years I was unemployed. I was still in somewhat of a state of shock from being let go from my computer job. Perhaps it would have been a little bit easier if I thought it was actually due to the company downsizing, but knowing that a person had been hired to take my place made it quite clear that it had more to do with politics and illness.  I could certainly understand from a business perspective that a person can only miss so much work and something has to be done to make up for it. But after all the years of putting my heart and soul into that job, I guess I expected just one more chance. But now I had a very important financial decision to make. The severance package offered was quite generous and equivalent to several months’ salary. But several friends and family were outraged about the company letting me go obviously for medical reasons and encouraged me to file a lawsuit. I had mixed emotions. I was grateful for the years that the company had provided me but at the same time I felt I had been greatly wronged. I had 30 days to accept the severance package or lose it. It was tempting just to take the money and run but then I thought about the huge hit I would take on my stock options. At one point, they had been worth a fortune, but the stock-price had declined severely in recent years and they were now at their lowest level. I had hoped that someday I'd be able to exercise those options and use the money to help my Mom and other family members and maybe even buy a new house for myself. But now those dreams were fading fast. I consulted with a couple of attorneys, but they didn't feel optimistic about winning the case. Although it was illegal to terminate someone because of a medical condition, they felt it would be hard to prove that that was the reason. And it would likely cost me a great deal of money and take several months before I knew whether or not there would be any settlement. So financially it made sense to take the severance package and just get on with my life. Besides, after a couple of weeks of stressing over my options, it was taking a toll on my body. I just wasn't up to fighting that fight.

   I was very encouraged after meeting with an employment counselor at an agency that specialized in the computer field. According to her, I should have no trouble finding a similar high paying job.  We set up a schedule of regular meetings and mapped out a plan. I was also encouraged to consider becoming a computer consultant.  With my skills and experience I should earn far more than I ever had before. I even had a standing offer from a couple of computer consulting companies I had worked with before to become one of their consultants. The catch would be that I would have to travel most of the time - but it did pay a lot of money!  The shock of being let go started to fade as I realized I had a several very exciting career options before me.  I was certain that before too long I'd be with a new company that truly appreciated my talents and paid me accordingly.

   Despite the numerous medical setbacks of the past, I was optimistic that I was on the verge of fully recovering from pituitary failure. I had just begun seeing a new endocrinologist who really seemed to know her stuff.  She was making significant changes to my treatment plan that seemed promising. She felt confident that starting me on growth hormone would make a big improvement and that at some point I would get all of my energy back and be fully functional. However, she warned me that I was still recovering from the thyroid imbalance of a few months ago and that my excessive weight - now at 290 lbs - was also dragging me down. I respected her assessment of my medical condition but was determined to get my life back on track as soon as possible. Every day I dedicated all of my energy to pursuing job opportunities, improving my fitness, and even trying to have a social life. It was quite obvious that my energy wasn't what it should be, but I suppose I felt it was simply a challenge of mind over matter. But within a matter of weeks I was reminded that with this kind of illness pushing yourself harder was not necessarily a winning strategy. I once again found most of my time being spent on the couch, recovering from fatigue, a sinus infection or whatever the latest bug going around was. How disappointing to see my ambitious plans once again taking a hit from illness. That nagging fear that maybe I would never fully recover from illness began to pollute my usually positive outlook. It was time to again have a little talk with myself. As I had done almost daily for years, I headed out to the jacuzzi to relax and collect my thoughts.

   "Listen, Jim buddy... You've had a rough year with the medical issues, losing your brother and being let go from your job... I'm sorry you had to go through all that... I'm glad you're ambitious about rebuilding your life, but you know what happens when you push yourself too hard - your body crashes. You've got enough money to get by for a few months so what do you say we take it easy for now and then get going again after the Christmas holidays? By then you should have your energy back." That sounded like a winner to me! No doubt I needed a break! But then again, sitting in the jacuzzi while drinking a sports-bottle full of rum and Diet Coke might have played at least a small part in influencing me to shift into 'escape' mode…